My moral compass

Isn't it amazing how little unexpected moments in life can change you or guide you when you least expect it. Sometimes you are looking for it and sometimes you are not, or sometimes like in this case you know there is something you are looking for but not sure what it is until you actually find it. I found it in a random bookstore in Mount Lawley after a nice dinner date with a wonderful friend. I love little books of inspiration, ones that can guide you in life, pick you up and help you believe in yourself and your life. This book i picked up was 'The little book of Happiness' and the page that got me was a cartoon picture of a compass but with a person as the pointer, written next to it was 'Have a moral compass'. It was so simple but brilliant and i must give it a go!

I have a weakness of beating myself up inside about the decisions i make, no matter what i decide i manage to convince myself to feel guilty about not taking the other choice for simple everyday things in life and it can drive me crazy. Maybe i try to please too many people at once and as such i never know how to please myself and think i fail at pleasing others and it gets confusing. Sometimes its nice to hear a stronger voice say to you 'no you made the right decision!' that strong voice came from my sister the other day when i voiced my thoughts about feeling guilty for one particular choice even when it was such a small thing i should not be worrying about. Maybe it shows i care but i care too much? All the same it just highlights how important it is to talk to people about how you are feeling to hear another set of strong words which are not from your own mind and c

an help you to be in a better frame of mind. But back to the moral compass, i am going to create my own in which i can follow to help guide my decisions through what i value and believe in in life, and then i will know if i stick to my moral compass then i cannot beat myself up about my decisions no matter how big or small as they will have been chosen to help me get the most out of everything and every path in life.

So the big question is what is my true north? If i was to list my values in life and who i want to be the list would look like this...

Generosity

Friendly

Helpful

Encouraging

Enthusiastic

Healthy and Fit

Optimistic

Dedicated

Balanced

The last one is a big one, balanced. It covers so much in life, balance of your relationships and family and friends, balance with work, study, finances, balance in foods, exercise, treats... basically life is a balance. My best friend put her life in a pie chart a while ago which gave a proportion of the pie to each part of life which was individually valued. Mine might look a little like this...

I would like to improve this a lot. Yes my studies and medicine is a full time course but it should not take over time in relationships and spending time with people around you who you love whether friends, family or partner. I can improve this and use my time more wisely to work hard but also to work hard on my relationships by making time for them to grow. While i value education and knowledge especially when it leads to helping others, what is the point of having an education and experiences while learning if you have no one to share it with?

My fitness is my freedom, my passion and is basically what helps make me. It helps me to deal with things in life, to celebrate, to release anger and frustration, to calm myself down, to test and challenge myself, you can get so much out of exercise both mentally and physically. If i could do it with friends more that would be amazing, it is a large proportion of my time but when it makes me happy and defines who i am and what i believe in should it be something i alter?

So maybe my true north is not a value itself but rather a set of questions i must answer in order to know what decision is right based on the values in my chart whilst considering those around me.

1. Have/Am i doing enough to keep myself well and happy?

2. Have/Am i contributing to those around me to be well and happy?

3. Am i taking opportunities which may not come again?

They don't seem to be very complex questions really but more holistic and general. I wish they could be more specific but in reality every situation is different and these questions can apply to every situation. But i think based on everything said here i know what my true North should be, love.

The verse from 1 Corithians 13.4 sticks in my mind from the days i use to go to church regularly - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast and it is not proud.

If i combine love and balance then i should make the right decision. Love and look after myself, love my health and fitness, love my friends and family, love my boyfriend, love my studies and what i do and i will know when i feel that sense of enjoyment for loving what i do then i have made the right decision. As for balancing life, that does come with practice and the pie chart is a good indication of what dominates your life at the moment and as you go through life and learn from your decisions it is a great tool to have to see how your decisions change your outlook on which parts in life become more important than the other and you can work towards changing the proportion of time of different parts in your life.

So love, you will be my true North.