I can't say psychiatry will be my favorite rotation, but it was definitely an experience. I know at different places you get different experiences and different perspectives, there are some parts about psychiatry i really like and some make me think this just doesn't seem to be for me. I love being there for people and helping them both mentally and physically, but in psychiatry i don't like how it can be a constant battle between the patient and the doctor. I know in Graylands we see the extreme patients, those who cannot go anywhere else, and it is these people who are the strongest believers that what they may see, hear or feel and 100% real and cannot be told otherwise. They are the ones who take their medications only when forced, after all why should they take medications when these spirits they see are real? Sometimes people may want them around, although they make them do things which may be harmful to themselves and their reputation what if these people are lonely and the voices offer support? It is a different story for those who believe their hallucination and delusions but do not want them, those who believe someone is constantly following them and out to get them or telling them things they do not want to hear. These people are more compliant to take medications and undergo therapy. Your mentality is such a tricky subject, people can believe in things they cannot see when we are well such as believing in a higher power or god, we can believe in ourselves and our own capabilities and ultimately realize just how strong and influential our minds can be in our lives. But when these beliefs impair our overall life functioning and are detrimental to our own health and well-being and daily life that is when they need to be changed. It was frustrating and heart breaking for me to see those people who did not want to change their thoughts and beliefs and did not want any help from the doctors and mental health teams. You can lock people in wards under the mental health act to try get them well enough to realise they may need to take medications but ultimately it is up to the person wanting to change.
My last day in Graylands i was a little frustrated and stressed thinking about the exam the next day, we did a case presentation spontaneously instead of an actual interview which was to count for our marks. So i wasn't exactly prepared and was disheartening myself for doing a bad presentation. Our feedback with our consultant was what most people say to me, you have the right attitude and you know your stuff you just need to be more confident. For some reason it bothered me more that day, i will get more confident!! Majority of people studying medicine are mostly too confident and don't work well when they are wrong, but i am the opposite and seem to hide knowledge being open to being wrong. Maybe i am just scared that what i say would end in an action that would not be the best for a patient? But being a student is all about saying what you think so you can be told otherwise no matter how silly you look so that when you graduate you DO know what you are talking about, and even then you can get help and ask all those around you.
I went into our psychiatry 1 hour interview/exam not knowing what to expect and nervous. I was in Fremantle and hadn't been to the hospital there before. The interview i thought was going well, i asked all the questions i needed to from the patient and was getting a good rapport, there was something not quite right with the patient and i know i could have done better though. The presentation and 20 minutes of 'drilling' questions from the examiners afterwards i felt like i was in a little fishbowl and attacked. I answered all their questions but knew when i came out i said things that were not right, it is so frustrating that your mind can turn to mush in those situations. But my biggest downfall was the fact that my patient was lying to me about his story, well not lying he was just so delusional and even though he couldn't remember much of how he got into hospital his story was believable and i felt like such a fool for not questioning it further and believing him. Hence that is probably why i got my lowest mark in medicine ever by a mile, i was kind of expecting it but it is still a blow to see it, but at least i passed and that is over with now. I think i am someone who likes to be there for people and help them through times such as depression, anxiety and more everyday type situations and struggles but when it comes to having to distrust patients and question everything they say and try force them to be treated its the part i don't like about psychiatry. Maybe next time i do it i will have a different perspective being in a different place? But for now i am glad to have it behind me.
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| So many notes so little time |
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| Notice the tea cup on the side, you can't study without a cup of tea!! |
After that exam it was right into study for our next exams, the three in one pharmacology, pathology and infectious diseases. I have to say it was nice not having to dress in clinical clothes for a while and literally 'bum around' in trackie pants to study. There were a few moments of cabin fever with Emma but the good from that is we now have a few moves to pull at our 4th year medical tonight Friday night! The exam itself was OK, pathology was first and gave a good sense of security but it was the next 2 that were harder and left me guess more than i would have liked. But now that is over too, and after a good post exam work out at the gym (SPIN classes are so much harder than RPM classes!) I am so ready for a weeks break. I celebrated last night with a few people from medicine having a steam boat dinner at someones house which made a nice night. And now there is a little sigh of relief, bring on the weeks break and home :)
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| Soon to be at home with the lovely part of my life called family |
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